Complexity

 The reason why fall 2013 matters so much is because that is when I went to college. The funny thing is people want to act if they know what I think and what I feel and can make decisions for me. But they cannot. They don't have that permission. The most sad thing about all this is liking a fraud. It's like you think they are the one for you that you can get married to but at the end of the day why the fuck would you want to marry a person who is mentally unstable?! Mariam, that was my one true hope for that time beforehand. Not that anyone was lesser but because I believed I had more of a chance to be with them but I was wrong! Terribly so, by how they seemed to care about me. The first time in my life that a peer who was a girl was not trying to belittle me in my thoughts then. To who is be known, like my dude with the overt praise from the other people I was like ," you truly don't even know who I am and when it all fucks over,you'd be at my throat". But when I left that college whatever facade this Mariam played at and acting role for the Oscars; homegirl did a 360 and was like," that was 4 years ago". In 2018, the February the 14th this is when this woman messaged me. Like I had followed her and this woman messaged me to berate me for daring to try to reach out when I thought we had something special. It's like watching a person "oof"and "op" and make a fool of theirselves. Reinventing history for they are very shallow. Never again. For whatever energy a dude put into Mariam in college; it could have gone to other people. Who in hindsight needed it. Alas, today I will write all about Mariam and the complexity of her character.