In light of the terrible.

 I had such a terrible time crafting Kyeombi from 2016 to 2022, some of the worst days of my life and I mean that. This website is supposed to be a comics lifestyle progress blog.  But literally I cannot even say what I truly want and it's my life. Why? Because those women I went to school with are not good people. You give information to these bad girls of this place and they go far. I think it's sick and disgusting these people literally revel in sexual violence and a culture of using people for a sexual benefit and fitting them into a certain space in time just so they can appease theirselves and still be anti-black. With the recent assault on the University of Houston campus; I look back to realize that fucking place is dangerous. I would fucking see the danger in the place near the parking lots on the outer skirts of the school as they build a football stadium and use platitudes of insults against the impoverished people around who honestly pay taxes on a house and are fucking black my dude. I often would hang out with people regardless of their race and they hate these people. 

Kudos crime happens everywhere and maybe when people of a place are deprived education and opportunities some bad apples run amuck to what is a golden place of opportunity to get back at a place with various forms of crime. I am talking about this fucking situation to grant you a great perspective. All these women take photos with Miss Khator and she fashioned herself a celebrity and gets these susceptible women into her whole fucking trap and just indoctrinates them as the fucking female anti-black indian Trump she is. Hell, she supports far right leaders my dude. Modi, Nikki Hailey and more and just profits disgustingly off uneducated black college football players who aren't educated throughout college but babied they matter and they aren't trash like the people around them or the black people who actually have to do real shit instead of playing a dumb fucking game. It's a culture of hate. 

People acted as if I was good with them when they rarely spoke to me, gave me a chance to speak or even take initiative and just set up social circumstances so it makes me the villain and them apart of this horrible racist set up by that woman, Renu Khator. Some people asked me because I did not look stereotypical black;what the fuck I was. They thought of me indian but literally I am not solely that. I was not going to hide under that racial identity because obviously people have a preference and I would rather be recognized as African American or Black Latino before all that because I am not a piece of shit. I do not hate myself. I tried to not make it about race but clearly it is. Some people literally hate black people but yet want to use them. The school literally is teaching all these Renu Khator fans and whatnot to be participants in a racist system and act as if they can take what is mine and divert it into someone else who just happens to be white. For instance my ideas and even great traits of me; these people transfer to similar dudes just so they can satisfy their need to be with me but like with an acceptable partner who is white or is not black because that is what people must hate most violently. 

Yes, working on these comics took skill to give up, conform to this racist system and ultimately research, practice and planning. I think alot of people mistakenly thought of theirselves as apart of the Renu Khator fans club and they always had it easy. Just all your life is being a spoiled privileged individual and just never pushing your " intellect" past these AP or A benchmarks. It's so fucked up many people who really needed help from higher education to succeed where just kicked out and really much goes to show you how much valuable education is with this school under Miss Khator's leadership. So many people left and dropped out when they really just needed to get off that racist Kool aid and recenter. Going elsewhere for school showed me that staying at that place would just make apart of that terrible racist system because you don't see how truly bad it is until you go to the place where people hate and sneer at you. You would think the world is a good place when it ain't. It needs work . Now, I seen some discourse online that is just racist towards black people and is why I am writing this in part but to call out people who know they did wrong. Like my dude; I guess you get a sexual awakening by being a peon and just are afraid of actually having a honest life that is not always in fear of this or that. You prove that women have no free will when someone pushes you or influences you to give up on what you want even if that want may be flawed they have inspired you to fucking hate a dude simply because he is not a pawn in a system but a person.

It's disgusting and selfish of these people who their number grows year by year that all they can think of when this poor woman was brutally sexually assaulted is, " racist shit about black people we think is okay". It's not okay. You are in the wrong. 

In the times we played Mafia, watched movies together and yes some of you people I even studied with you saw my humanity and where curious but let's forget that for I am just some disposable n- word to you. I did not be an asset to be used so their me away. Just think how this situation looks if I was a woman and you women where men. You only had interest in me because you wanted to fuck. And you will hear this shit, lord have fucking mercy- no interruptions this time; you would be labeled sexist and racist too. Okay. Imagine that. You being led by a far right leaders to basically hate people on gender and race and give no fucks to the history or life they had. I am not just some dude you met in college- I am me and unapologetically black! 

You know in that time I was at that school I was trying to see if I could truly be me and let that guard down but I never could because you people think you know everything there is to even know! You think you know black people because you are afraid of them?! Bruh, you know fucking nothing and it's just sad. I wanted to have a life with someone in that time but all you people window shopping and then settle for trash. Got me feeling as if I would be targeted even if a dude did speak up to even try to be with. But that would never work because black people have to live always under a great veil of mental security and precautions that white affirming people don't. This group includes black people who receive benefits of white power such as the football players. It's so easy for everyone to like a tool for  racism. Just like fucking cattle to be diluted as the light skin diversity luck pick republican black in just another generation. I don't want my children to think the goal is self hatred. But like bruh, even if with black women of the Renu Khator troop are quite worse and just fucking hate theirselves. The girl called Ashley basically acting as if she got to like me in order to not be what she really wants to be.

 When I left this google eyed girl never once summoned me, never once spoke to and never once contacted me after making such an effort. It was just a good faith act to prove to herself she was not racist by dating a black dude. Lol. It was not like that for me. I never even gave a fuck about her race and would always think of her at night but yet it is not good enough. I was not appreciated. I was cookie points for the sad regime. The sad thing is that a dude never had time to really socialize to the level I wanted to. Why? Because of school and the comics study. Like do you really expect me to ditch the purpose of even being at school just to be with one girl who is hard to find?! No! This woman may have never been a Renu Khator fans but like the environment just promoted malice against me and overt expectations to just build me up to break me down. Things that are learned. If I could go back then maybe I would try harder against this racism and it's influence but I digress. There was only so much I could do at that age and still be considered me. To say I had low socialization skills does not do it. But yet people wanted me to fail to communicate so they would just find an non black alternative with what they think in their head is me but will never be.

I experienced so much hate outside the group of people I hung with and better respect with people I should have hung with. It's not wrong after basically going my life without any friends or any non problematic romantic interests(often women trying to force me into sex) that I want something real but in the end I found myself in a corner. Hated by strangers who thought they knew me and friends and these women thinking they too good for me. Sarah, the girl one time just decided that hanging with me and this other dude was for a path down a dark road that their asian self did not want to be with. As if we were inferiors all of a sudden. Like the girl was never nice to be around, bipolar and really much I only thought if I got to know her then it would be good. I wasted everything trying to hang out with this woman. Like literally the only person who would make any effort to speak to me and call my name but in the end the indoctrination and anti black racism won. She did not want to be with any of her old friends but literally so invested in her asian sorority friends who I might add could not bother to even be in the same form and so this girl would guest them up to her floor and these dudes with em would mean mug the fuck out of me. The irony of this it parodies how those people who black have houses, pay a fucking house tax and are disrespected by indoctrinated kids to think bring racist is a right to their enlightenment to being near white people. People assume because I am black I have no knowledge of asian cultures but like fuck you; the fuck you know about me? I damn well know some Asian people just want to be white when they ain't. And never fucking will be. I thought Sarah was not a racist as she hung with black people but literally time goes on and these people are like her peons speaking shit about these well intending citizens who pay a property tax just to fit in.

Comics does not make you fit in with this racist shit. All black people must be stupid, have dreams of football and eating Kentucky fried chicken. Fuck, that crap my friends! This site is a rebellion against these racists and I did not bend the knee. I hoped people weren't belittling themselves with this crap but it's gone too far. That woman was harmed very badly and it has nothing to do with race. I am not going to sit down in this climate if ever and allow what is a permission to racism.  I literally left that school because I realize yes, there are good girls here but they expect something sexual and something that I cannot give them is what I was thinking. I don't play with fire. I did not want children in that time or anywhere into the future of that time. I had many women interested in me but I felt as if it would be betrayal and I already was basically just all over the place because I guess me having self respect was too much for these women. They want someone dumb who would risk it when they have no job and no income but football goals lol. Imagine if they were men and I was a woman and I just desperately want to live a life with someone and their stipulation is just " sex". Imagine, how bad that goes in the real world. Single fucking mother is what these women would do onto me to which I never did upon them as the dude. If I was to follow their charms and whispers that is what I would be doing. They could not understand that I did not want sex with them but had been conditioned to think this was okay when it was not leaving both people high and dry of any chance to even know me. The only thing they knew was some sexualized image of me! 

Not the person who had been fighting racial discrimination trying to make you into another number! Not a person who saw a pregnant 10 year old in art class. Not the person who be picked on by all people of all shades because they don't have many people of my particular culture in America. You have to realize that a dude all that time to college; some woman or girl at that time and/or grown woman is trying to get me to have sex with them. Bruh, I was being so fucking nice when a dude don't like the idea of anything with sex when it will end in disaster. Especially for my comic studies my dude but no; black men want sex. Get the fuck out. I tried to ignore it but in fall 2016 it becomes apparent it was not in my head all that time and people showed their true colors for good and for bad. Just let me say this to close; I will never choose the lesser path but all the followers and let's take a picture with Renu Khator get all off on this racial domination. Good for you but your life will always be so privileged and so inane of reason. You will never live to your full potential even as a woman who prides theirselves on dominance, freedom of will and just having made the best choice. You have no free will. You let done some old fuck decide for you who to be with . You have no free will but the illusion of it by association with something that is not real. White people aren't superiors and never will be. You are nuts. You are no different from a maga Republican. Hell, it's easier to speak and educate a maga Republican than one of these Khator's fans by life experience. Honestly even they give more a chance for your humanity than these particular people why? Because they think they are the elites and better than everyone else in society and thus are the future leaders. I dunno how to tell people this but you will never lead like that but terrorize and destroy. And why the fuck should I have to educate you when you have the same choice I do but you choose to disrespect. That disrespect has gone on for too long. In light of recent events; I shall truly dispense how things truly were.