Destructive Compressed heartbreak

 What I am saying in the preface is that despite a person having sexual want I stayed in reality and like a normal person did not let the sexual element overdrive respect for an individual nor their life but I am saying that is exactly what Ash did. She went down the route that a dude would never. To become a creep. To become a person so lost from reality they will never be found. The most annoying thing is people acting as if things are progressing when no I am not there to say anything. Because a person could never have a good chance to speak to them it's always other people fucking whispering in their ear telling them this and telling them that to which is stupid.

 They never gave me a chance in spite of clearly not even having my side of anything and making up bullshit so they can be angry at a dude because I did not do all the work to make a relationship. For a great deal of time I was trying to pretend I did not acknowledge her behaviors at all but I did. I would still dream we would be together and it was still mutual but it was not. The funny thing is that her whole interest in me was fake. It was not real. She only wanted a dude because I was the only dude even wanting to give her attention. Lol. When I failed to be there she gets angry because I can no longer be apart of her " privileged college life". I am not an easy bang anymore. You have to realize all I thought about in the summer 2015 was this person as someone very crucial to myself. I wondered what they were doing and if we could be together but in hindsight it's a great thing I never reached out.

This is a person who literally will believe nonsense about you and basically refuse to actually speak to you whilst having been very preoccupied to harass you behind the scenes since you left the college.  They just want to keep the poison in and never give you the opportunity to speak whilst they make your life a hell and even are the person who leads such an attempt on your life by fall 2016. At that point I am realizing reality. I am trying to stop what is an abnormal relationship at this point. I am being stalked my dude. I am trying to end this in a nice way that basically says it was a good thought but I have to refuse. It's to be said it's not only Ash doing this but many of these women doing this shit and you cannot get them to stop. In hindsight messaging them did nothing. Infact it motivated them further into their dark descent. Lol.

These are people who pretended they liked me when it's clear as fuck if you can just side with some elderly Indian woman and her insane legacies scheme of thought then we can never ever even be. You decided this. I did not. I gave you the benefit of the doubt but if you aren't an indoctrinated fool with this insidious plan and hatred for people of color and self hatred too then I cannot be on your side even you figure. You decided this. You don't get to live two paths my dude, you don't. A dude deserves more than that.

Ironically the only one truly free of the indoctrination is a person of true hate and has different masters like Mariam who needed to prove to herself she never caught feelings by responding to me but she did.  Such to say all these women are violent aggressors. Not even worth being included in my life quite honestly. The only thing they have done is speculate on a person's identity not by merit or actually making the effort to learn who they are but making the fucking generalizations about a dude to the point they act as if they know a person and be like," he is not the one" and distance their selves just to give fruit to the abomination of sexual driven wants and cowardice to even speak their feelings mixed with complicity to be apart of a legacies scheme that means their future offspring must be white or apart of some gullible dude who is a fucking racist so that the school in the future can have certain students who match an aesthetic of a crazed woman. Who simply believes people of color can only be good when self hating and having children who are part white. They just wanted to be apart of the legacies scheme and just use me as an enemy to motivate them to get perceived power over the real value of whatever relationship a dude had to offer if they weren't antisocial and going bounds to ignore their true feelings.

So much of the time between spring 2014's conclusion  and else is like fall 2016 is me struggling to realize that these people are crazy and this legacy idealism does exist because why behave the way they did. I am like in that calamatia event," they are crazy". I will never be caught with my pants down again not like that. Do you think that since a person was raised Baptist Christian I forgive them? No, I don't and I don't think I ever will.

They, in this life could have offered me so much just by living with me. The works I could have created inspired by them and growing with them but that will never happen. But yet they choose to abandon anything and then dare proclaim I am the criminal? The fuck? It's you who is essentially trying to void women's rights. You who is fucking destroying any great real social opportunity whilst falling a pawn to this dumb bitch who just wants something that is a fantasy borne of their own self hatred. She ain't going to give you power and never will. You have been played and you show yourself a fool.  I dare say just dating a white dude because they are white is just hatred itself for them. Just so you can have some half white child who you really don't care for but just want to be an item apart of something fictional. It is insanity. They threw everything that was real for the fact they are cowards and cannot be social properly and are insane to believe after a person so heavily their self hating fiction! They choose to be the enemy that squashed thine goals of what I truly wanted fall 2016 to be like and making me suffer. I want to go into everything that ever happened. But like that time before I sent some messages comic form.