Brutal Social Cold War: Dina.

    One of the first women who I ever spoke to in the college was this woman aka then a girl I guess you can say with a red college spirit hat. It was to be said that a person did not know the loyalty to illusion that people could have. That people would ultimately choose and admire this faulty idealism of what college was all about and enveloping real people not about it in a surreal aggressive negative manner. I was sure naive back then but to be sure and true to you, I will not hesitate so much in modern to ignore such a red hated and red haired peasant. I mean, this person did not have red hair but they must have been hiding it because that was how much a loyal fan to the overall nature of an unprogressive place that they were. That they were folks. I got to hand it to the people who go to the football games and all this social matters of the college this and that and all that foolery like we give a fuck about the people of color that we are infringing upon by buying their land and rising costs of housing just for a football stadium.  I mean when its all said and done people should realize that college takes so much away from the people who will never get an education and that goes to the people even inside their college. One ounce and one lick not sure of this reality and you might become such a person who is wronged by college and thus I am saying it is the people of color in and out of college who suffer the most.

  This college was not a "white university" so called but leaned in on its diversity. They said hey, " we have a woman who south east asian as our chancellor, check us out". Let us hear your roar for diversity and all that biz it is all fake.  When I went to this college people had no ideal of this woke or political warrior nonsense and really this was in 2013. It was just the 3rd year into a new decade and Buzzfeed was still a thing. I mean; this college was the first to the trend of "let's pretend diversity" and really much the college itself was lacking of any care for people of color-let's be honest. I would say the campus itself was anti-black but herein I did not even know that. If everyone colored person in a place hates black people I think damn; why put white people on a pedestal unless you are just trying to be the such to a degree which you can never be.

     The great problem with current American education is that the people born here of whatever color cannot get good educations but all foreign born people can come here and just become people who are detractors to the good life for the people. I mean it; somethings are just a crime against humanity that these places ultimately just put down people who don't come from somewhere special. I don't think a person should have to be telling people the deep orgins of their ethnicity. That is what it is called an ethnicity and when I hear people rattle about their very origins; it makes me ill. I remember this place and the fakeness behind diversity.

     Now, Dina, this was a person who was like cool in my later teenage year eyes. I think I just turned 18 and really much I sat down and spoke to this girl who I thought was a babe and she just smiled and willed the luck of currency at me. I mean I gave her my number, yes-and well she never did give me hers and eventually lets say that if a person did reach a place where they would be with them again and their friends time and time again; they would never say anything so uncertain of their commitment to even grant the number back as well as this naive loyalty theme a person would have back then. When I was younger a person used to be loyal to like one woman really who basically and foremost was "the it girl" in my opinion. Its to be said that in college every girl was the it girl and some were the real it girls and that others where just fake. What I am trying to say that because of my own incompetence I never got to know this girl because I was young and really much had not that great social skills and worried if I was going to be stirred up into a group of crazy and abusive women.

I think to tell you that in highschool a person would find theirselves the target of women who were actually abusive to even almost a sexual level. When the friend of Dina, as I will call her and as I met her-threw a piece of bread on the floor in the hall crazily beckoning to me to have the bread alongside her gay male friend; I think I made a mistake in talking to Dina. But it would turn out that this girl who was a friend would be cool for the time. If anything at all Dina and her friend who I will call Fine. Yes, I will call them Fine; would only not get along much later onwards in time. Or shall I say like the kids, " the timeline". I personally don't like that phrase; people aren't time travelers at all with their low level gimmicks and low level iq.

     Its to be said that you could be fine in the walls of an university and even associate with people time and time again but that never bought loyalty. Nope, it only brought betrayal and witchhunting and really much people endearing to be their absolute worst for what could be attributed to very bad and toxic school spirit. I think to simplify it for now; a person would not get into the whole school spirit corrupting people who were susceptible and how the college was negligent in allowing a culture where other students would hunt or attack others for rewards basically. Rewards that really are not real but in the mind and self achieving to a great degree of fake idealisms that cannot even be reached.

     Let's say the main story with Dina and Fine is that they were always together and they were always with me during the fire emergency exercises. Again, I never spoke to anyone of them because I was afraid they would be like the girls from highschool and there would be no barrier from their abuse otherwise if I was to even come to know them. They had a unique friend group and one which was the most promising in giving a care about each other. I mean what is a school? If connections aren't formed that last for a while. I later saw these people going to my new community college in fall 2014 when I just jumped the shark and left a place that was barren and forbiding again me. I almost will say hateful against me. Thank you diversity and really much you can say that the media image of diversity is superficial, flawed and wrong. At the end of the day; people who are diverse can just be as flawed and even so more worse than any racist who is white. I mean people over compensate obviously especially if they are south east asian or hispanic. Let us be perfectly real. Some person could have the most black friends and be on a student council and then fucking do what? Say a phrase that essentially is hateful to black people in many regards. The school would pat them on the back and help them out with gelato that is diversity training flavor. MMhhm, muy delicioso Dora said.

    I think that in the end of the day of the time that I was at college; I did try to reach out of my shell to reach people but really much you could not expect me to be the "hero" to say people from misinformation, a toxic grapevine and really much the terrors of the night that they would descend into. Really not my responsibility at all because like so many I would be a person of color but never act the way they would act towards me. People decided what nonsense they were going to follow and the most crazy people tried to be both legitimate race equalists and kkk hoodies. I mean, let me say this neither Dina nor Fine were hateful people but to a great level if you can later try to come at people for nonsense they never did and never would do; you got issues. Its bringing me tears to say that Dina was interested in me but I was not the hero to save her from the ills of an environment. I was too weak and I was too naive to think of the actual brutal realities. This girl Dina once would look at me with such sexual interest as if it was earned and then scamper off.  Deep down a person wanted to be with her but maybe never that sexual stuff until later. I mean it; I don't think I would want to risk the chance of ever being a father when likely you would have targets on your back in the future, your dreams so hard to reach that everyone you ever meet mostly likely if to be trying romantics is just a person to add to the hardship of reaching a said dream and really much would you want your child to see you hated and scorned? I honestly got to say that a person wished that such a thing was earned. That I had even spoke, spoken or even talked to Dina in any way so that we could actually have something that was real and not lust filled. I don't think I came up to the person just because they were attractive that one day as they wore a red hooded hat or just a hat that was red. I came up to them because I wanted to be with them but yet there is to be said that a person rather not perchance engage in things of a special sexual nature. No.

     I would say that maybe Dina and Fine were the only real friends I had in college because these people actually respected the real me. When I rejected, Fine's bread on the floor she did not get overtly angry at me and when I was shocked by Dina's look of intrigue I realized that she realized that I was not that down into her like that. But really much what a person really has to say is that they felt disrespected by Dina and really much that they were manipulated by this environment to literally have some overtly sexual bent towards things which were not in good motivations all the way. I feel that greatly a person wanted to chase after Dina that day but was too slow and really much did not trust the dudes I hung out with any real responsibility over my things.  I don't even speak to these people today. I just don't and for great reason is that they put me on the spot," did you have sex with her?". The great thing is that a person did not have sex with Dina and ultimately I just thought nothing good of her sign of interest that it just brought me back to that olde highschool and really much I just never liked the things that were in that highschool. Its to be said that Dina realized that I was not comfortable with her look and just fixed herself smiling as she exited. I mean what was a person to say, " we did it". When we did not do it at all?

     I would see Dina and Fine and their friends some times more that whole semester before I left the college but I never spoke to them but yet I somewhat merged to be apart of their group. I saw their group the most and was perched into their group by the frequence of how these people would be on the same path with me to go to eat, the fire drills and even out and about in the dorms. I just at the end of the semester realized after all everyone else basically abandoned me and set off on their own courses, these people never left and would never leave only by chance however. I mean, I only spoke to these people a few times but never enough to actually know them but yet they in some sort did want to know me but also did not know how to communicate. Instead of people learning to bridge the gap; the unthinkable occurs an outside party shakes up the scene and convinces at least four members of the group that I was in the wrong instead of helping people better communicate and connect. I would like to imagine a world were colleges actually brought people together instead of trying to vilify one group over another. I think greatly you never know what evil lurks around a bin but this evil destroyed so many prospering and promising connections making them turn to stacks of shit evidently as people would have no faith in me but I would have faith in them.

     What really hurts is that Dina and Fine just went along with the nonsense that was and they would be drinking that koolaid the time they and the other friends dropped off this girl who was often drunk in the dorms I will call Tabs. Yes, this person was the party goer, the school spirit individual and person who ultimately went to all these events sports or whatever but just got caught up in the scene having to go to a community college not really by choice but by gambit to get back into the main large college connected to the community college system and that is alot of colleges.

    I look back at that time I saw them get out of that car and realized their care for their friend. I wished I came out to speak to them just to see how far they were endoctrinated but I was far too spooked already and just wanted to really in all eyes and ears escape from those who might bring future troubles and dangers to my door. Dina, Fine, Tabs and another individual I will call Sabe really were the people who for one reason or another drunk the koolaid of a college and never amounted to graduating from that college regardless of their school spirit. They would continue on a path of indulgence and addiction to an identity sprung up by a college that had no use for them any longer and really much I am to say that whatever wounds they inflicted on me never helped their cause at all and they were just a means to an end.

    I tried to reach out to Dina foremost and then Fine but really only contacted Dina in 2022 because I had gotten the wrong account. Neither did she or Fine reply back and really much they rather an university tell them who a person was even though I was doing this solely so that I would not be targeted anyone by them but yet these 2018 attempts just led to more misery. Of people who become accustomed to a thought process that is selfish and totally self absorbed.  I would say that I tried to clear up the great misunderstanding but you cannot reach through the fog of indoctrination and pull people out unless they want to be pulled out. Its to be said that Dina and Fine eventually stopped targeting me and I was allowed to finally rest in the fact that I had lost so many times than one could count. Allowing some old ass lady basically take away two fine babes away from an individual because of this person's need to be the "next big racist". I would say that there actually are many people like Trump but really you will never know it until its too late when you are under their infrastructure and they target you for amusement and seem to sway people to their control for their amusement. People whom you would like and really much its just evil in the end. Everyday I recount whatever happened and I ultimately hide this history because I had no chance of stopping it being so young and so naive when this old lady over things does their corrupt work for fun and for vanity and it never ends.

    Instead of people becoming friends if they weren't ever going to become lovers or even on good terms; some person is just not content until they put ideas out there that are so sensationalist against the legitimacy of another one party just trying to live and they having the power-the weak willed will follow. I am not saying Dina and Fine and all her friends were all corrupted but surely Dina, Fine, Tabs and Sabe were and really much it never suited them really. Not at all. Lost in this "Brutal Social Cold War" I was. I had lost and nothing was ever going to make these people realize the truth and I became fine with that. I really forgot the connection and those times I spent with those people mostly mute. Mostly mute so much mute that I never asserted myself but was just there so that people thought I was something to the effect I was not. Whilst I said these people of Dina and Fine knew me; they choose to reject all these times that we all spent together in coincidence or not.

     I wonder where the hot looking girl Dina went when I look back on these desperate attacks against me and how a person when denied some sexual experience just turned their back on me in all and in full and just embrace some nonsense about me that was not real. I look back and just realize Fine was special; no one else had that enthusiasm of throwing bread on the floor that she did. No one did and no one ever will but alas; nothing can ever repair what has been broken and somewhere some old lady just takes pleasure in all of this for their own twisted self vanity where after year and year they pump this diversity bullcrap down people's throats when it matters never to be real. I would not cry. But just forget but even if a person forgets the heart never forgets and never will it ever forgive so many different parties if not only theirselves for not being strong enough. Brutal Social Cold War.