How they can be groomed 4

 No one ever wants to imagine reality from my perspective. Ultimately even if I say anything, it's not going to actually tell you how I actually was there in the world, in its finest and lesser qualities. Ultimately the people who think they liked me really had no idea who I actually was.

There used to be this one girl, who I'll call "fuck girl," who I usually always say hello to. Now F girl was liked on this campus because she had a big butt. She had a big butt, a butt that you would see in fucking porn. This is what type of butt she had. One of those Latinas who pigeonholed themselves to date one white Latino dude. But in reality, reality is likely sleeping with so many fucking people in the school that there are lost causes if you truly wanted to be with them.

How the hellos that were once friendly without the "deem of suspense" become something of suspense when you realize, every once in a while, you see a bunch of dudes going into the room with her. It's like a parade. It's like a parade. It's like a pBut yet these magazines kind of strayed from the true objective and did not offer any great insight. Ultimately I could have done better, I realized. Particularly this is what I was supposed to say in 2016 magazines: build up off of the thesis of what the new methods would likely be based off of. I'm not even going to say here because people like me weirdly imagine evil things when a person veers into the past. It's like a parade every day, some often or at some period of the day when the other dude is at class or something, and the girl goes wild. She is going wild, as they say, today. She is going ham.

Ultimately you realize that now, for one, while she may be nice at first and you weren't necessarily looking at her, over time you'll just hear. You just meet these people, meet her, meet her boyfriend, and realize, "I'm gonna say, in quotation marks," and then you sit down to watch two or three movies with these people there. Everything is just uncomfortable because there's a dude with a knife there who basically is trying to sleep with her and in your real life everyone is trying to sleep with her. At the end of the day she keeps waving to you and you wonder, "Is she truly being nice or is she just wanting to have sex with you?" At the end of the day when you're seeing these things, it usually becomes like a weekend thing on Saturday. Where she is just alone and maybe you can speak for a minute or maybe three times a day or something. She didn't realize she has friends. She has friends, which are your fake friends, and you watch a movie together or something. She didn't realize that these people are really down bad for growing up. Later she is seeing some other people go into the room with her and then at the end of the day she eases away from the idea of being with this person because literally there's a whole lot of trouble for nothing going on. Nothing is going on that's good in your favor. The fact that she sleeps with a bunch of men, that everyone speaks about her in such a manner, and that she is committed to this other dude, who basically is second to none. He's only there so that she can have a good cultural standing with her own people, with her family, that she's dating a Latino while in the meanwhile she's with everyone. Those are true loves. That is her true ambition in life. She doesn't love this dude. She loves everyone else but this dude. You, who basically is culturally similar to her, would only be taking his wrong if you were to go near her in such a capacity, you see, which, for many different names, would not be good.

I never wanted to say anything but a dude did have a crush on this woman for the longest of time until you realize you can't. It's just impossible for you to win the girl when the girl is pretty fucked up. Ultimately any woman I come across is very fucked up. You try to find some redeeming quality or image that they could be of. People know what they can be but yet at the end of the day they had chosen this path. They necessarily were never groomed. They're just an opportunist taking advantage of the situation. Realize that they are opportunists who delve so deeply that they will never be groomed. They take advantage of things. Ash is such a common name but yet there are different Ashes. There are so many different Ashleys in the place that ultimately, how long am I gonna say this? I can sum it up basically like this: they seem to have the qualities of being a good girlfriend but at the end of the day they have the worst darkness of the underworld inside of them. They have the worst darkness inside of them because they are fucking broken people or they were born like that! I don't know why people call their children Ashley but literally most Ashleys I've met are pretty fucked up. 

I can tell you there is a black Ashley and I doubt she was cute, despite her being rude the first time I tried even to speak to her, ultimately making it very hard for a dude to speak to her. Thinking that she was pretty nice, there's a time I stopped to speak to her on the stairwell, even despite me being hungry. That was my fault for letting my hunger build up for a while, which would cause me to get ill if I did not eat anything. Yet I stood in that stairwell to speak to her.

Do you think that would actually endear her to actually be kind? That it would endear her to say, "Oh yeah that's not him, that's not what he's saying. He has not spoken to me. I don't have any right to assume anything about him"? This woman becomes the worst monster of monsters, the creature, a person who has no respect for the dead and endures to insult people's intelligence, pushing push nonsense that a dude is this and that. Ultimately she is nothing much more than a freak, a black woman who pretty much has lost her fucking mind, who is nothing more than the most dumb fuck there ever could be in life, who doesn't understand that she will never be a white person. Yet she thinks she has to ascend the bounds of her race to become basically a white racist, transgressing many harms against me that I often do not write about.

At the end of the day the impact of this nonsense is legendary. Instead of us being able to find peace, there is only insanity and that is basically her choice. The whole relationship, you might say, is a mirage. Most of these things are mirages because these people can never come true to the purpose of what they're supposed to be you Understand, Miriam is just like Ash. Ash is just like Miriam. Who is Miriam? The worst.

Many of the things around this blog are not meant for first-time readers but ultimately to catch up. Who is Miriam? A person who must have thought that she was the perfect woman for me but yet made no effort to be that, but be what her people who are racist endear. She could not logically understand that she was not the one for me when she did not behave like she was the one for me and ultimately pretended to be friendly and just under the guise of this false diversity.

With Ash the reason I bring them up is because literally they had the same history lab with me on Friday. I was always thinking about what could be. What the future had held and I was always excited for that class because they would be there. That was my opportunity to get this and speak to one of them or both of them to further some type of relationship.

With Ash everything, EVERYTHING was basically me-led, me doing the work. At first this girl did not give a fuck but then suddenly, digging back into the diversity nonsense, decided to give me a try but in the most unhealthy way ever. I often would see her in a dining hall. She'd always get her food to go and ultimately it just comes to a point where this person is working under a cause and promotes a situation where you have to basically go all your way just to make things not be a certain way. She could never understand that she had a part to play in the relationship itself.

Why was she acting like this? It's not because she was shy. It's because she was groomed. Groomed to think that the dude is going to groom her to become something else. Ultimately ew! When I look upon this person today all I see is a crazy person who flew too close to the sun and got permanently scarred. Scarred that they can never not unlearn bad things and bad habits and ultimately live in la la la la sorority land for the rest of their days, essentially, especially when all their friends had deserted them.

I'm not here to get into arguments with people but ultimately this is the truth. A person so groomed by something, they wanted you to groom them and when you refused to do that they got angry. In the fall 2015 time period there's another girl whose name was also Ashley, who was tall but this time Latina and not corrupted, but yet a dude had to let go of her. Some of the worst people who have no business being here assume that a dude has paranoia and that these women weren't out to get him in 2015, the fall, but they were. Back then I realize I could not rope a woman into something that she could be susceptible to and end up so fucked up, just like all these other people. It would be worse because literally she's at a community college and whatever privilege she would assume would eventually run out. I didn't want that to be our future. I know that definitely women would never be loyal to me. It's not an assumption, it's a knowledge that no one would be loyal to you at the end of the day. They will not be wanting to be your girl at the end of the day. They'll find some excuse, some caveat to get away and ultimately just fall into the worst things and ultimately it'll just cause you tons of harm. So I let this woman go.

You know what I was doing in 2015? The fall. Things I never posted on a blog because in that time period I was like, "Everyone from that college sees this shit and they do evil shit with it so I'm just going to stop posting." It made no sense to continue to post. I realized when this site basically has so many of those people from that college looking at it, there's no point in posting the progress on it and so I was done. What I was doing in that fall 2015 was making magazines, just like I would as a child, with new ideas, things to push the comic effort forward of that time period. Ultimately, I realized that was a good thing, but yet it wasn't done in the most prudent way.

I remember when I started. That was the semester I started graphic design. Despite going to college for graphic design, it took me two years to even take one course, just to realize it's just some shit, made-up shit that ultimately doesn't have much emphasis to it. All we must learn is the Adobe software, some small concepts, and have a good portfolio, and people hire you, but ultimately I don't have any of that tech yet on my computer. There was no Canva to the level there is today. I use pixlr, but even that was not as great.

It's not the school that taught me anything in graphic design. It was me. Just like with Ash, everything was me and me doing the work. When I did mm Culture, it literally led to the whole magazine premise in 2016. I was getting to 2016 in it. Ashley, you got to realize this is a woman who was tattooed. There were actually two Ashleys and one who was skinny, like the previous two that were mentioned before. There are actually many more Ashleys but I'm not going to focus on them today. Was a built Ashley and sometimes she would smell very bad.

Why do I bring this up? She's susceptible to the same fucking thing but this time to the back and gall of what is just white racism that is found in the Kingwood area. Basically churning against me when I would not do certain things for her or things that would signal to her that I was some safe black person to take advantage of.

You gotta realize that therein I realize she is too dumb to even be a part of what the diversity stuff is. She's too dumb. She wants to be a part of the bigger world but doesn't realize that's what the bigger world is doing. Ultimately she's a dumb fuck. She's a dumb fuck of dumb fucks.

I write this to say how people are groomed to make the worst life decisions ever. Didn't want to cry about it and that maybe some people are not groomed and that some people take advantage. But what about me? What do I get for all this shit? What do I get? Nothing but disrespect, people pretending they give a fuck, people pretending they know me, and I don't get anything. I don't get shit but people trying to shut down a person's whole sexuality because they're racist and think that they're going to win because they've been conditioned to think that they can do these things to people when you don't know me. That you're barking up the wrong fucking tree you should you realize it's none of your business. I suffered for such a long period of time. These are only some of the events but to clarify the biggest ones: nothing could work out because of a terrible environment. That was aggressive, nasty, and unassuming. To cease, as in mean that you would not expect it to be this difficult to get a girl.

Ultimately when the racism is this deep, this complex, you're not gonna solve it by just speaking it out. No. People have to be brought to justice for meddling in your life, preventing people from actually being in a constructive light but ultimately honestly leading them to a dark path instead of true acceptance and unity. You have pushed things to the point of no return: disunity, chaos, and destruction. You have brought a culture of destruction and doom. I would dare even say genocide.

The whole idea of eugenics simply stems from getting rid of Black people by making them intermix with white people so that there are no Black people left who are dark-skinned and who would actually have a tenet of white culture in their homes. At the end of the day they don't feel the same as a person who has no white relatives and who lives with them. That day would be extinct.

These people get to disturb my work in a culture, importantly causing a bunch of pain for a bunch of years and we're going to get away with it. Anything that you can continue to do the same shit over and over again for decades and decades on end, any work that you put into it, will ultimately not work for you. The answer is no. People seem to think that they have extended by that whatever wrongs they have done won't come back to bite them. Ultimately that's not true.

I always think about the enemy. I will watch during the Fall 2015 season and it just taught me how diverse anime could truly be, other than the most popular works. I watched almost every everything I could to get better at creating works and at the end of the day it led to the creation of the Krushre comics, which I haven't worked on for such a long time.  simply to get everything together! Yet what's so sad about that thing that's in my dirties is that all the hope that could be that everyone could work together is just rejected for war, for assault, violent assault. It is worth noting that I did not assault these women at all but they provoked me on a day. They provoke me by dreading my life and a person must defend their life. Basically they are the ones who cause this for themselves. They are the ones who will cause their endless suffering by the many acts of what they have done that cannot be undone. Once you went that far you can never go back to what it was. There is no open future of tomorrows for you. There was no start of college. For those people they were still in college. Some of those people were still in that college in that time period. A lot of people dropped out by that time period.

I saw this girl who was in the dorms at the community college. I tried. I was going to say something but at the end of the day I decided that it'd just be bad if she was just one of them, at risk, for someone who is potentially just another crazy person. So I just left. Around that time period often we think about this girl Amini. There was a group of people who would come in the main door to that place on a day and this girl would be there. It just reminded me of that place, that dorm. It's just like a corporate landscape, a housing theme, a corporate landscape. I knew Amini was not there anymore, that she was basically at a sorority house or something. This is the time period she basically had gone down the path of being a white woman even despite being from Tunisia. She would never come back from that path. A person who completely rejected not only their African heritage and Arabic heritage just to be a white person, to which she actually has some heritage. It's just an example to show you literally how racial ambiguity ultimately in this environment leads to a person maybe embellishing their black side first. But realizing when they have a great falling out with the black people, who were never good black people, the black people they want to use it as an excuse so that they can go in the direction they want to go.

You must realize that is an evil person. That is a crazy person. They purposely hang out with ghetto black people so that when things fuck up, they purposely think that the ghetto black people are the black people in general. That's all black people are. When things fuck up they give up on black people and go to racism. This is the same thing that Ash did despite being both black.

These are women who ultimately excel to be racist and then I look at this white woman and realize that a dude could be with them but ultimately they may not be doing it for the right intentions. They may just be doing it for the sake of eugenics. So I walk away because I cannot decide. I cannot put my own life or my family's life in danger. When they see people who are not sane, when a person gives such an identity off that they are with the cause, then perhaps it's not a good idea to bother with them.

Many times later I would take a chance on people and be lucky that they are in the lower rung of things that they possibly couldn't do anything. Because they're literally showing their true nature. I find that when I would speak to a bunch of Latinas, I didn't actually do it because they were Latina simply because that's just who was there. Ultimately you find your lack of higher intelligence past your own culture, of other people's norms in the bigger world, and that ultimately they're just like kept children. This may sound racist but it's really not in the sense that they are kept children who are made to conform to society's notions, just so that they can create children with a person who is a white Latino, Matizo Latino. Not necessarily ever a black Latino because therein there's so much racism.

I'm gonna talk about the deeper context. I'm circling back around to the first girl. Yes I got, everything has a purpose, everything has a purpose. You must realize that fuck girl knows how to play our culture. She knows how to play the culture. She gets one dude, she gets one dude who's a dumb fuck to be her husband, who could be her token person for life so that she can just go around and fuck other people who are not the same as her. That is how she gets her kicks in life.

There's nothing wrong with having an adventurous lifestyle, I would say, but maybe it's just wrong to be married to a person. That's not what marriage is. You must understand that these people are systematically racist. They refuse to fight against it because they deeply are racist. They have been groomed to be racist. They will never be but racist by this time period. They are 31 years old. They cannot unlearn what they have been given. Ultimately try to improve the point that woman is ultimately just a pet to have children with. They make that point greatly because they let themselves be groomed. They never give a fair chance to anything that is nothing but grooming or cultural coercion. They can give things outside of their culture a chance when it involves sex and having or doing illicit bad things.

This is where you're putting your money when you go to college: people built to fuck, fuck themselves over, fuck you over, and care nothing about it. In the '90s there used to be these things where people would have these crazy aquarium thingies and I wanted one but they would not let me have a pet. They would not let me have a fucking fish. They bought me something else instead. It's like one of these toys where you would have it. It's like a toy I don't have anymore. It would be a fake aquarium. Ultimately in a real aquarium you gotta clean up after the fishes or they'll just be swimming in their own shit. I gotta say to you that the people in in society we're swimming in their own shit, doing their own little fucking things and thinking that they're good for doing these things when in reality you're not. You're crazy. I struggled for a decade doing things I would rather have never had to be done. After such a fucking struggle I'm not gonna let people step over me simply because they think they can boss Black people around or make Black people secondary and that they must stand their ground. Some people are so fucking lost that there is no point in even saying anything to them. There's no point in embellishing them with the guise of humanity. If you act like a pet, you should be a pet. Not pretend to be a feminist. Not pretend that you aren't doing something great for some woman at some woman's center, because obviously you aren't. You're as much of a pet to sex as normal Latina women who have no self-will are pets to Latino men. That may sound racist but ultimately it's not. We must indulge that I am a Latino, a Black one. You know what happens to Black Latinos: racism.

I share a story of when I was walking in the park one time. That ultimately shows a lower tier of things, a lower tier of coercion, of this whole shit. I'm walking ahead of these people. I can't even see what they look like but suddenly I see this woman look back at me and she must have looked like what she saw. There's this goalie thing that people somewhat gatter around and you must navigate around them and so this family is a family. It was an older woman I see in a park. This woman knows that she's attractive. She must know that she's attractive or something or attractive generally to the public because she has a big ass. This is important because you know what? Fuck, girl has a big ass. She knows what she has. She knows what assetts she has. What womanly assetts she has. This is an old woman by the way. She probably has done things that I'm not going to say. I'm not going to say and that's an assumption but by the way she was looking at me when her daughter was looking at me. Tell us a whole story. It's like you know what they can be doing and you have fear that they're going to be doing what you were once doing, which didn't end up good for you. This is the level of fear in the look in her eyes.

This woman later mutters to me, "crazy," when I'm just walking away from them. Ultimately it's like the mother who's old, the daughter, possibly the husband or brother, and then there's a younger child, which I assume is the daughter's child or the brother's child or, in the case that they're married, it's both of their children. That's the grandmother but ultimately you don't know what the relationship is.

Anyway when I am walking to move past them, this woman suddenly tries to get up in my space as I'm coming here. I just see the look in this woman's eyes and this is not a sane person's look. This is a woman who is, as I'm gonna say, sexually interested in me but ultimately isn't just a law and just moves herself onto me.

Yeah it's like, what is this? I move away. I try to get on the gate. This one was still wearing it with his longing book of interest. The family moves on. The family I move. I go outside the gate. The family follows me, to which this is where the woman says, "crazy," as if I'm trying to get with her daughter or some bullshit. When literally I'm just trying to get away from them when this woman is just trying to launch herself at me.

You must realize that this is the level. It's the level of creepy shit that a person has to go through out in public. I'd be like, "What the fuck is that?" I was reminded of how sexually weird people can be who are white latinas. Let me just say that you don't know what is weird until you meet a white latina who's kind of kind of dumb and ultimately wants to have sex with you but ultimately knows that it will break the conventions of their family at home. Ultimately these things are unwanted because literally they don't look sane. They don't look sane. They think they all look smart and ultimately down and down went some because you, but ultimately they just think that I do. I'm gonna say some shit just because they think I'm balanced. No ultimately no test. How things were the greatest all year, these people, is that being mean and your social cues that they think work but in reality just make you look weird. Just makes you look desperate and ultimately it's just begging a dude to like you while you are holding on to these barely and really invested racist idealism. Because all you are trying to do is sleep with them to use them.