Dark Blood of Christmas Thursday dec 12 2013

Back in fall 2013, on December the 12th what could you even do? It was the time of the finals and there in the first time of the university life there was 24/7 freedom. No classes to go to and more time to devote to finding people to hang with, play billiards in the bottom lobby or some videogames down there or play smash bros on the fourth and League of Legends on the 3rd. People in time assume that a dude just played games all day but that is just by association to a group I truly on hung out for like 2 hours minimal whilst hanging out with other people so actually no one’s knows anything. They absolutely don’t.

The most thing to be said is that I had a bunch of shy mutual interests who became femcells in time as in they don’t actually want to do anything to get closer to you leaving that brunt of responsibility of a relationship onto you and literally it’s not as if a dude is going to knock on their door and it be good. Like realize some of these people literally so ignorant and hard headed that they never generally even where hanging out with the general public to any degree. To hence why a dude was out there was never to truly play either smash bros or Mafia but to let’s say have better opportunities to speak to various women who could pass by. I am calling these women ignorant because they are as who they have allowed their selves to become. One, they years later act as if they know everything that occurred when they say no one and did nothing.

Primarily on these days a dude would not sleep long or let’s say all day but rather only had three hours of sleep to get Mk Mzodern to a better place. I was planning novels for the Kyeombi series instead of comics at this point in my journey but I am not going to get into that. I however spent most of my time studying in the library regrettably. I did not actually want to do that but a person needed to pass and so it was a necessary must. The funny thing is that there were fewest people from the dorms in the library and I know most of the people in the dorms for that a dude was everywhere. I saw no one but people from the 3rd and fourth.

I am to say to you I did not even stay in one location in that library and got their early after that biscuit and gravy breakfast and the bad dinner. I am going to tell you that stuff was the only good food from that place. So essentially I would spend the entire day in the library most days in this time and really much would only break for lunch and conclude before dinner. Sometimes I would return to the dorm a bit and it was like fucking fake day 24/7 to a great deal of people. It ain’t wrong. Once you got freedom for the first time in your life you essentially went loose with it. The problem was that people wanted ” sex” with it and that becomes a problem for let’s anyone who is Asian or part Asian hanging out in these male dominated spaces to which some dudes are basically fetishizing people to a disgusting degree becoming such a big problem that the groups of friends break up because of this.

I usually would not hang out with the people until after dinner to which the smash bros tournament became the Mafia game tournament to which alot of people from all the different factions appeared but ironically seldom anyone who a dude truly wanted to be with. These people who later would come to hate a dude just literally could have come to play but like nah; I guess a dude ain’t that important or they were afraid of the dudes sitting there and their intuition would be right. Namely I only sat there after the 9 pm or 10 pm whenever I finished eating dinner and returned to the place which was likely to say I actually ate around 8 or 7 most times because you were not going to get good food if you waited. Many of these people would wait till like a later time to go eat begin so involved in Smash Brothers.

I literally got to get to place of the Mafia games but first I would work on something for myself aka to progress Mk Mzodern and that time of nearly 11 pm or 12 am that is when the games had already been in progress or would start. I would say that a dude would say”beans” foremost a time just to play with people who in all sense and purposes where like younger people to me. I was playing the big brother role where a dude is like in that Pitt Bull song; tickle the baby. However these people perceived their selves as superior. Times to which I was sitting there for Smash Bros a dude literally was like ignored most of the time, no one offered me to play and really much could not even speak until the Mafia group arrived. In everything this group of smash bros people were not my allies but what I can say not even friends either and some just very sexually aggressive people to those who don’t want them aka the Asian girls. Particularly l, was there to hang out with this girl who I started to speak to earlier in the semester before all these people and just try to get to the point a dude could date her. But yet these fuckers wanted to fuck her. That is all was on there mind and the things they would say would only increase in atrocity until a dude was basically their enemy. It was torture but if you want to have this common community square spot this is who you had to put up with it albeit I started to realize their behavior problematic as time went on.

A dude literally only sat there for like two hours in between where a dude would be hanging with the study/ movie group and League of Legends group or other people quite honestly. I did not stay there forever. Eventually a dude would go to sleep after working on mk mzodern for like three hours from 1: 39 am to 4:39 am or two hours or just one and then go to sleep. It actually depends when the two hours for Mafia end. My greatest annoyance is that I would only say hello this other girl who I would say was the closest person to actually be able to enter any relationship with. Or really make low talk and it was just a waste of what a person could have said that would have just sealed the deal. But yet if a person did that means at least to me then I was traitoring the only person who I could even speak to. Yes, tons of girls liked me but did I speak to them? The answer is no. I mean I tried to speak them to a great deal that semester but no one was returning the energy like only three people. Only three of them to which one I am going to say was kinda not right in her head who I will say in future days would be studying with in the library. The people who I was even speaking to where just the girl who was sitting to play Mafia and this girl who would smoke outside. That’s pretty much it. In the study/ movie group almost all members were women but they all had their obligations I am going to say nicely such to speak would not be the best choice for anything. Like you would have to be Magna Defender and mental help therapist for like the only person who was not in a relationship and that’s too much for a 18 year old. Like nah, a dude felt as if they would be in over their head if they tired anything and I am not going to get into that.

So pretty much there it is; a day and ultimately motives to what a dude was doing. Peoples conception where completely wrong of let’s say people who are basically are just those who liked me and never said much to a dude outside of my own efforts to speak to them respectfully. Such to say I dunno what the fuck gets into people any sense of entitlement but they own a person’s experience nor their identity. Like bruhs or girls, you literally walked the runaway strutting your stuff but literally were too much better for a dude than to say anything.

Ultimately for me these days were anything but free or fun but just work really much. I am trying to get grades. Get the comics. Get the girl. And literally it was a patience exercise. There is so much that happened on this day for each place I went that could make its own set of stories as I say constantly above I am not getting into this and that because it would be a lot.