Aftermath calamatia 1

 Greatly I look back and ultimately I took a long hard fall and kinda really much never stopped. You cannot go back. I realize I could have fucking done what just continue the magazine like nothing occurred but alas I really gotta say I was thinking I could have continued after what was Labor Day but I wanted to give it space to breathe. Why is it fucking ? Because I could have just done that and nothing would have ever happened. 

I believed in the world. I believed in certain fake people of the media, politicians and much more but all of that is over 😭. I thought there was more time and there is none to execute your ideas. If I could have gone back I would likely have done a better magazine because I was not happy with it. It really was not mm culture to a certain degree but the paste you start a drink with. I made metromoons from an earlier effort and pretty much the effort did not die. I really wanted to make this story and one called Molanda and Sally Biker and it would be like a Saturday cartoon thing. Alas, it's time to realize that some certain people value nothing but evil and their own ego and scratching their own egoes scantily  calling me crazy. I am not. Something bad happened to me and all these assholes just contributed to it.

 If you ever put me into this situation and then put other women there in it! I will never forgive you. I think about this woman I used to be in biology with and ultimately in the end despite pretending to be my friend was the worst of the worst. Not even Mariam would try to deprive me of my own ideas or attempt to destroy them. It's gone too far. I think about the irony of wanting to succeed in graphic design but the machine of oppression inside of it denying you anything but this cultimative horror. For what I risked my life on it truly was not worth it at all. The nepotism, the racism, the false criticism that is racism and just the lacking effort. They never even made you make a magazine that was me the dreamer but ultimately it goes to show the program is a fucking joke.