To Bren

 I would state my feelings but oh wait. There would  be a time where I wish we could be one the art couple. Rather that I could hang out with you and tell you at one time or another that I loved you. This never worked out. A person was not given much a chance. This dream died to moment I heard you from the other room mocking Zino flyboy.

What was worse after a weekend  of confidence thinking I had won you over. Won you over thinking that since you were in that spot under the building underhang that I used to draw my comics in fall 2014 when I first started my comic and you were drawing as well; that you had the same spirit and drive. Thinking that we artists would connect and you listening to Porter Robinson. No, I was a fucking fool. You are nothing like me. You are lazy. Pathetic and so stupid. I tried to help polish promising coal into a gem but no. I tried to see something that was not even there.  I would never mock people's artworks which they show in confidence. But you have no clue how to socialize. Who the fuck knows what the fuck is wrong with you. 

I imagine you being pretend nice to me that day and me giving you a follow on Twitter just for you to unfriend me by Sunday as if rage angry at Zino flyboy. That is probably what you did. I mean; jealousy much and I could have taught you if you had asked and gotten over yourself. But you like so many other women never will. Fight your imaginary war but I will continue to live. Your racist vices are what you love. 

 The time I tried to get you to apologize; you just do not  seem to realize the level of shit you stepped on. I was kind to you because I saw your potential. But no, you just don't deserve success. You refuse to take opportunities when presented and get angry at the world that no one white person is there.  You are free to be racist or whatever but fuck; when you mentioned that you weren't ready for children- it's like insinuating that I just am sexually proactive and even hostile. Like what? It just came out of left field man. Why did you even say that? Oh, wait, you are conditioned to be offensive and don't even know and your so innocent. I am not fucking stupid!

I think that is a conversation a people who have been dating for years would say but like bruh,I gotta say that is racist. I let you go thinking I could help you see the light later but no. I let you belittle Zino and give a flimsy ass apology because I saw value in your art. But no, I should have not wasted my time.

You never knew the past struggles of me. Like you did not start a four year college. You thought we were so much familiar but in the means where my experience is to belittled. I,in that time I sat in that spot worked on my comic methods to which I helped move myself  forward with getting things done. I wanted to make progress with you like I did there and passed over my fears to even speak with you but it was a mistake. I just wanted someone that I refused to let another person be convinced by kind lies and so I tried to salvage something that did not exist out of trauma. Even that was a mistake. 

The whole attempt was to have humanity stripped away by others and have a romantic life but it was done in by you. That was it for college. I wasted it on a girl who is very unsociable and has no ass. Like who thinks of that aka sex when you dear woman aren't that sexy. A person was looking at you because they seemed to have the same spirit. You belittled everything I really felt if not by completely murdering it with the 1st act but sealing the deal with 2nd act. Yea, you literally assumed that if you said nothing that a person would force you to have sex with them. Being real about it; that expectation is routed in racism. You could pass as white and claim I was out to assault you. That is not what I am about.