the search;ll

 A cityscape.

the search for cool sites

There will be no prologue to this exciting tale.

And we had feathers, and we plucked them well.

Yea, yea, yea, we had feathers and we plucked them well.

And yea, yea, this is an exciting tale, daa,,daa.

Hell. Is the abound the ground, searching around.

The search of cool websites.

Yea, and if you like, the search for cool sites.

You can be the one to extreme the feeling

of your surrounding at that moment

where they say

you plucked your feathers.

your feathers.

You plucked your feathers.

You pluck em all.

off

but they keep growing and going and they wonder why,

why

I have no jokes to call or even to say why!

Pure ingenious, thought of man,

the search of cool sites is the eden,

the promise land.

Yea, yea, yea,yea.

YTea! O! the Promise land.

O! ode, the promise land.

I have no jokes to say why

I will not wave, I will not say high.

I will say hi.

I will not say hi.

I will not say, to a randomization end.

He started to venture into the unknown at midnight. The howl of excitement of staying up late at night. The ability of the night to profound a curiosity, a since of adventure and a willingness to venture forward. He wanted this cable feel. This hotel feel. And all this feel of success and creativity, collective working towards a goal with everyone.

He also wanted romance, but in this world, such advents are so hard to come by.

A world, were staggering miseducation , over commercialization and more, make for a difficult venture. Of being together to create. He ponders many stories of these falling outs, attempts were people came together, but so far and so far out failed at what they exactly wanted to do. And become trapped in these similar and failure stories, for success, money, popularity, laziness and failure. They subside and never actualize their actual goals. He will not be like them.

A comic book artists on the net is what gives him influence to grasp a new version of his prescribed world. And that gives him influence, to clarify, he does not want to be like this fellow at all, but its his presence that gives him certain strength and certain pleasure. That is so modern.

That is so with the times,  that enables, him to believe that a world of creators exists and that the world is not swarmed upon the millions of dullheaded, bull headed, whore headed and mine headed folks.

That he must be better, so he can reach his goals and not be so hesitant and so paced to the times of regret as the author has often clarified.

He must not fall, as this author has his regrets, he must strive forward.

When he goes to school, there is hardly anyone of a vibrant color, but this urban trashy hue that they smoke and slack and fuck each other into the grave. Rather, living an unfulfilled life. Dealt with not one thing but work and payments to how many fathers or mothers, in different ways.

The advancement class, is something of an odd joke, as all they do is cheat on each other and proclaim the work of the class inferior to actually be focus on and studied on really. When in reality, there is no, finite grip on reality when they create this reality for theirselves and anyone who truly wants to study, might find theirselves outside these groups. And if he is in a group and sits beside two of his crushes. And one in the front and sits from him, diagonally a type of man pest, who is quiet a faggot, literally and really. Then they will not tolerate him when he requests practices that suggest that they be more realistic and maybe stop make believing and actually do their own work. He is more jealous that fact that the retard faggot has a grip on the friendship of his crush to the right, that in arguments she stays silent. Yet when they sit alone, she tries to sneak a kiss, at him leaning so silently in. “Can I kiss, you?” He wants to ask, but never has the skill. Tries to kindle some fire, naturally.

But when he tries to joke around like before, he only annoys her, and every question never leads anywhere. She moves away from his table, closer to them, these three familiars which he sits close to in that class.

Heartbreak that in some argument, she chooses to stay neutral and rather stay silent as if they never had any type of friendship. Never speaking up at all for him, just keeping real silent. He feels frustration!

Especially when they, the rest of the three, are such atheists!

 Such atheists so qualified to say such hateful things, about Jesus and utter qualifications of self-doubt on anything. Yet, this girl a Christian or Catholic (same category actually) refuses to say anything to him in help defend his argument to them, that they are truly wrong about whatever they have to say.

The girl in front, he is so strived to say things to her, now that he can, but he finds that whenever she speaks, it is so tinged with heartbreak.

Everything is not how it was to be. He tries to say, its his fault for her demeanor and that if he had not skipped out in fear in asking her out in the 9^th grade, that things would be different than they were then.

He tries to say, that when they worked on these projects in that prominent class of pop culture references and world history, he could have found the strength to call her out later. But he ponders, why should I force anything? Why should I do so, when obviously, what that entailed was little success at all. What, the highlight being, the field trip for the very fun English class? Then at the end of it all, away from the rest, teenage pda?

Yet, he did not do this, yet she considers she is lesbian since no one has ever come around and told her how pretty she is, using this as a clutch to finally fit in and be told she is pretty. He screams on the inside and is break-broken apart, his heart, if this was a game, he would only have now two to live on. Because he has realized, that his heart for these people is shattered in heartbreak. And one morseo, when he gets in an argument with his crush, and she shuts him down and everyone piles upon him.

Reminding him of a similar time where he tried to defy the order of these classes. These similar remedial classes who taught not one thing at all. He snaps, at that mention. He liked another girl, one he suggested himself, he saw on that day entering the world geography class. She was different, more different than everyone else and something was familiar about her. He figured that since he could not get so close to the other crush, he would get close to her. However, the trash of that school reared its head on the next grade, of the 10^th! He shudders, the 11^th! Is where he is now, 2012, the year. 2009 is that year going to the 2010 year.

The last three years, have been not well.

At this, he refocuses. The 10^th! Is where he has been degraded.

A chemistry class! That refocuses, to murder him in every way, and his classmates he was forced to sit with, are more or so less his current friends. So diluted is the atmosphere when he decries this girl, who otherwise elsewhere would be a delinquent student is giving the expression of glee in qualifying as a honor student. A honor student so diligent to forget that she is at school to dance and not to learn. This is sarcasm he briefs. Sarcasm, as rather, she believes that the dance team and her duties there in are more important that school work in true. And she treats the people there, as angels, when they are not and is so friendly with them in a way they will believe. But come to this other class. Where the ghetto slumites gather, or rather the urban or suburban folk who appear to try to be acting in the manner that is rude, disgusting, vulgar and as if you live in a place of squalor and make every effort to bring the squalor with them. He will not dare to snap at them all. Or call them” animals!”. When all they care about is some favor game, and at which he helps them win, they smile and this girl of the dance team, smiles at him. “Maybe I’ll make you my boyfriend!”

He smiles that day, but he more interested her for the fact of which he knows the circumstances of her involvement with boys of that age have led to sexual intercourse. He is quiet thrilled, that she considered him, but feels bad, that she in light is not a good person to be bothered with.

Cheating on assignments, never doing any sort of work, and always asking the teacher to be excused from class.

He is really angry, in how her behavior is so different from that class, and refuses to let her in, when she is the last one, to come to class. Or at times, hardly comes to class at all.

 And how when he argues against her, she indeed hates him. And he has no reason to like her, just for what she said. And so, continues to vye for the attention of this girl from 2009, he saw otherside of the world geography class. He was so breathed, when she and he sat next to each other near after the teacher proclaimed that the students were talking to loud and having too much raucous fun. That she was so unreachable.

So unreachable in refusing to directly acknowledge, that he was actually there. He of course would speak to her. He of course would talk to her.

He of course would acknowledge her, but she never him. Not truly, always talking to these glam girls who she cheated together with. Not a maiden was in paradise! Not one. There was a nice one! She was the one, who he reasoned that he should like but he considered her, different, he could not think of her in a manner. He reminded him of a sibling, she was very nice, and frankly ignored that she had anything to do with the practices of her friends and their probable cheating.

He discovered they got their cycle information in cheating from a couple,that the faggot, and his favorite girl loved to talk to, like rival couples. However, the faggot and girl refused to be named a couple, to his irritation. He could no longer take the fact of this absurd nature of living. For one, these people where supposed to be the best of the school, but were no better from no one else. They were only label holders. Yet, they inspired to be these lounge gods and just talk and wait to laugh and laugh at jokes, so disturbing of people who tried to actually do their work. There was never anyone who would bother to be bothered with reality ever. Not in that town of humble. They were not at least humble, but rather insane and solely filled with the promise of being inspired to go the distance. Yet failing to go anywhere. Failing to strive for anything. Just to be the sole perperators of outcast and out casting. Could not even vote for a City of Houston mayor, never.

And if there was a Humble Mayor, who cared? To dream, amongst these demons is reproachable to sin to their false god of money. So important you might as well just kill for it, and that is what many people get the ideal for. Doing all these envy deeds. And all these murder deeds and now it is worse.

But he, lived in reality, and all the rest lived in highschool and their little worlds of their homes and groupings and only could feel sorry for them. He staged an end to their little empire. He would oppose them because what they were doing all wrong, he had thought, the girl would defend him, in that class, both crushes would, but they would not.

He brought up his findings in a story, they all hated him for it!

Only those who made the noise stood up for him. He had hated them yet, they stood up for him? He recollects this in his current situation!

Of that faggot, that girl, his crush in his 9^th grade world geography class, and this other newcomer girl, seated at times of the teacher’s departure, they would argue with him when they would talk over him while he tried to study and finish the damn assignment!

One day, he said and whispered to his crush ahead of him, “Shut up or I’ll kill you” And he was never the same.

He never really cared for his parents, nor really did they care about him.

He only cared because society cared. And that was apart of his pubic act, to care about these people. But eventually, there was no point in all of this, when they would get in these arguments for no reason at all, only because his parents wanted to make him a toy. A toy, with no reasoning with the real world. Or any real reason of life. They thought of theirselves these brairs of good will, they were not! Maybe they were believing what they were doing was making a difference, the reality of it, it was a sin, of a disservice, they did in anything in which anyone needed help. They brought around their own personal baggage. And would only discard of it, as they saw fit.

Anytime, they beckoned at him, it was so cold and intrusive and lacking of understanding for anything about anyone, but theirselves. One might think they were disconnected from the community. And that’s about right. They were so set far aback, even so further from reality than that of many people in that era. But that did not matter, who could actually tell, moreso, that there were worse people to even make a comparsion. But the point is, they were. So vivid in controlling life to the qualms even when it was not for them to control.

They were never of help in any of his situations. He had to continue on, without their intrusions, and their methods and their nonsense. He would not be implicated in their nonsense, ramblings or babble.

He was superior! Was superior still and would get whatever we wished, as long as it was legal. He, crushing a lot would fulfill at best all the crushes he had. And at the same time work on turning his ideals into reality. But when he found himself forced to say these words, after such conversations, “what if someone, had a crush on you in the past and did not say anything”.

His crush responded, “Its too late then”. He then reached the conclusion at which he should of just asked her out years ago and that she herself revealed that she had been hurt and damaged by the adverts of having no one to confess to her. And he could have been that person. He felt pleasure, strange, and incomparable. When she shuddered, when he said, whispering in anger and frustration by with a romantic blur of intention, “Shut up or I’ll kill you!” He really did not mean it.

She shuddered, moving forward in her desk and then settled down, he pulled back. She seemed to be smiling! He felt wrong, after he realized what he had actually said. The pleasure he felt was confused by the rush of what he just said. He felt ashamed, for saying anything. He was sorry.

He felt fear. Then he resigned himself. Wasn’t this the same girl, he said, he would travel the world with? On the course of the assignment in the world geography assignment bringing on such feelings? How could he be moved to say these words and then feel pleasure, “ just to make her behave”. I am sorry, that he would spend the rest of his time, resigning himself from her, because he reasoned. “ She does not deserve me, she is lesbian now, or so she says” and “ If I said, ‘Shut up or I’ll kill you!’, then what would I say next to her in the future and even further if we did get married?”

He decided that all love would be faked on then from their own, to bring about a since of justice, a since of control. He could not bring himself to entrust himself to love another after what he just said, to her. His crush since 9^th grade. He fell in an agony of suicide, and in the remainder of that time there. He began to reminisce in friendship and tried to squeeze friendship out of a badlands place. And got very injured. Discovering how exactly wicked this world really is.

More to the realism of how people in the world interacted and allowed evil things to just happen, because it was not their business to make it stop, just because they were better Christians or whatever their affiliation. And even though no seems to care, he could not, be with this agony of living, this stupidity.

This small frame of thinking. He would not be trapped in a tomb with these people, while they dwindled away at his success. He discovered the first time, he would ask to be a friend. That such an approach was too desperate in a place of future serial killers and criminals. Future test cheaters and people who would be desperate on their knees, because society was more interested in playing the appearance of school rather than having a working school system. A school system for teaching what people would like to learn, rather than forcing them to just learn so qualifications to say they have intelligent citizens. But that is all a lie, you will learn. America only fosters the wealthy and the slaves to fit the wealthy and their ideologies. And the wealthy are not only the ones with money but with power. Over people’s minds. Essentially, churches, scoop up all the excessive money people could be saving elsewhere, and using this money for less than important purposes. For vanity rather than helping anyone else.

 That really no one cared about anyone else, except for what society said their should be. Society is but an idol.

He went past the ideals of his time. To try and record his story, his story and as well as his written story, his drawn story, his virtual story and basically, in his written story, his company of comic books, to be untampered by the society in which is present. That only achieves victory, by killing the voices. Of many who have them, but they are never shown as apart of this world. They are cast aside as if God, did not create them equally. Man, has decided to become the devil, and try to build mechanizations. To defy the natural order.

He attempted to reveal this, the best way he could. But settled to figure how to do such over time, as he was still young. He paused, searching, for a way. He went to an architecture program and found the world was more elaborate than that. There were good people and people trying to do good deeds but they were not very elaborate in getting it done so they would not fall victim and stray off their course.

He found himself, bothered by these constants, he had stay in what could be considered a squalor to arrive on a field trip to an empire sized building in the city of Houston. Seeing such a different lifestyle and people who had schools were people went to actually learn and not cheat all the time. All, the time, the world had these components but he did not know. He wanted to display that the world was horrible because it kept the method of everyone seeing the heights they desired, unless these people went out of their way to study the world. Of course, which no one does really, they stay in their social constructs and their eye of the world until otherwise struck or inspired.

He had to try harder, as the world was not so simple. He could no longer take that anarchist school for serious, and no one in it really. Every bet was off in the romance of him. Until he was struck with how terrible the school actually was. When one of his old friends from 9^th grade, the only one who signed his fantasy filled request to stop impending dress code strictness.  Was crying on the floor, it was truly sad, but he thought about best to approach her. But it was not her, who was saved.

It was him. He realized who he was eventually when he went on the heavy path of vengengance and she appeared, to remind him of who he was.

He decided, that he needed to return to his core ideal and strengthen the fund. Of the ideal of there being different customizations of thought for different areas and time locations. Like channels, they were, they had programmes, and like programmes, they had features, shows, topics and material within. He thought of a magazine, but on a blog, because that is as much as he could manage. He thought of the topics and went for what was close to him at the time of his first highschool crush, a website that randomized internet locations to find different cool sites via preferences.

Cool websites in were he could live out the fantasy that the world was okay with its lack of care for principals like free education and working towards completion of dreams and people no meddling in them. But the world is not okay, and that is why the project never got that far. He still held the ideal. But the ideal changed over time and this is that ideal elaborated. Advanced to be that of news, to be that of show, to be that of information to teach, that of information personal, that of information telling an opinion. That of essays and speeches. And over time, a system of telling stories as a leisure activity, and lifestyle. A system to promote thought, thinking, figuring out problems and solutions, jobs and unity in creation. One to break apart miseducation, grant education and using different methods, dispel men and women from ruining ideals I a fun manner. Defeat the corporate grip on creativity and people being able to tell their own stories and make a profit. A solution to the overzealous corporations and their greed on the social aspects of people. And a new persona, a way of telling stories that their worlds are shown in a light that is real as this one. And taken seriously as different worlds with different interpretations. Of concepts of different realities and this reality. This is the prologue to an amazing story. He believes. Viewing that author and seeing the details in which he has succeeded and where he has not.