2startagain.

I start this journey to find.The willingness to continue again. What MK MZODERN is all a bridge to.I wish to seek the despise. Out and conquer it, that the world may be a better place.Expose these ills for what they may be. I would like to take a long look at the past.But this might take a while.To clearly understand where this is all going we must take a look into the past.And so alas, I complied a list. Of items to talk about created from the structure of past posts.
This simply will be  a small fix about which each point means, but it is a long list.

 A cityscape.

the search for cool sites

One of my favorite hobbies in the past was looking for cool sites, but this search was more business attire and was only to bring out the guise of looking for these sites in return of monetary compensation or viewership by the public. However, no real effort was ever put into this search so at the end of " anobii" and the rest. The drive to look for these sites by alphabet. As a directory for reviews, basically failed for the lack of the drive. As this was not using the drive of the hobby, but the drive of money. And thus, the drive of money never matched the drive of hobby, or the interest of the writer to continue.

+insight into 2009 and this randomizer for finding cool websites.

Back in 2009, my favorite internet hobby was using this Stumble Upon add on to find different new sites, this was something fun and I found many fun and unique sites by going on there everyday and wasting time, when I probably could have used my time better and more wisely. But having fun, is the responsibility people should never forego, just for the expense of success. Learning to have fun, and achieving success, is something I learned from this. Dresden Codak was a site I found here, that helped me achieve my journey in an inspiration manner and inspired the works of that time.

my crushes

The greatest struggles and sources of the greatest agony are that of this. I will not clarify my distaste of the declarative pain of what, these many crushes did cause me in highschool. And here, I will refer to only those in 9th to 12th grade. As after, that, strangely, people are not built as the animals who surge to pacify every humane attempt to try and compensate to this ill of humane society standards set in an area, might as be trashy as the individuals who dwell in that area.

I tried to hide, I tried to focus on school and I find that it was hard even to remove any human emotion from interacting with people. To this day, I still feel the anger and frustration of being able to feel these feelings and never have any place nor opportunity to interact these feelings. Rather, people tried to cover up the fact that I had any feelings at all.

Maybe when I was faced with the prospect of my death, I tried to fight against the system in place, but in this unsocial constriction. They're only whispered death and destruction back at this futile fight. You can not change the world, with words or unity when there is nothing planned but for this unity to be dissolved and these words taken for laughingstock. You can not form connections with animals and that is the lesson that could be learned from my highschool experiences in crushes. You cannot expect shitty people to change from their shitty viewpoints and situations without sensing their inner most ill. Unless you wish to change the problem that has made these animals , animals, you will not have any hope to change them into more civilized individuals. And I will say frankly, that most of people of my highschool year and class, were just that of animals. Cheating animals, whore animals and all types of lacking individuals not there to do anything but fuck around.

struggle to build variety.

In my early days, I struggled to build variety. I had this envisionment of what I wanted to say. But I had to find ways to say it to the best of my ability. One of the many turning stones was the ability to have different features to the blog that would add to this ideal and progress it to the envsionment I had.

the new beyond

The new beyond was going past all my past and current struggles at the time and getting rid of them. Many of the components of the blog feature elements to strengthen certain aspects of my skill and critical thinking. I would make myself solve these problems. To get over the very dark and gritty problems in my life. Especially, the problem circulating when I would develop these feelings for these different people in highschool.

the songs.

The songs were  integral in the development of my feelings and ideas of different stories which elsewhere could be captured anywhere else. The songs were so providence. To what I wanted to capture that I continued to do them over and over again. I made many songs offline and this became the mainstay of why I would write on a blog at that era. Also helped me develop strength to confront my issues head on. But sometimes it was not enough and I needed something else. A strengthening in my other practices as well such as drawing and creating real actual comics.

ideals

The ideals were formed in summer after I graduated highschool, to test the limits of my ability to create. To go farther with storytelling and visualizing events. It was very fun, but also a failure in the aspect of selling these ideals. As I did not know how too effectively sale these ideals. but I would not give up or give in.

posters.

The posters were just that of the final version of the ideals and covered different topics.

They were very fun, in a manner. But the coloring and distribution were something of a marketing game, I did not have time for. Also, I really was not sure they were in the proper format.

And to be frank they did not match the qualifications of what I wanted to draw and put on the blog.

Eiroquers and the question ideal of involvement via writers

I used to frequent, Youngerwritersociety in my highschool years. They used to have these venues called Storybooks, were different authors could role play as different characters and contribute to different stories from a single author. I decided to post all my qualifications and story on the blog that would become my main blog of that era. It gave a lot of traffic to the site. The Eiroquers was a story I envisioned writing with other people, but I realized when no one messaged me, or contributed to the forum that it might as well not even be a storybook at all, and was better to be done alone. This lead to a group of forgotten novels over the years becoming and itinerary item to be accomplished.

a summer,the drafting of that era.

The Drafting of the summer was something fun and something challenging, and I basically ran to accomplish my goals as I was not certain I would get the chance to do these ideals again. And was not going to waste my time. I will not explain the actual background behind this. But a great damage to the introversion of not producing ideals was achieved in this period. I kept drawing to practice my skills and then eventually after the posters, small writings I did, I eventually found the strength to pursue to place content on the blog. In the form of forgotten novels but now as comic books. I kept going no matter the storm in my path. Or how many people really did not care, until this day.

New stories.

The new stories I invented in college were as brief in actual effort as this sentence, only lacking in regards to how it received help and further importance from past endeavors and successes and did not try to be a success itself. Being like this was a success itself, but this was an absolute disrespect of the story of creating stories in deed. But yet, this I did not realize.

My new declaration and the scraping of an ideal as it was.

I decided at one point, that I was only creating stories to qwell my past ills in having trouble in creating them. I only realized this myself and ventured to tell a story about such a predicament. but this also took time to realize.

TIM AND FORGE and Louisiana  funs.

The Tim and Forge were the projects I sought to complete for my comics and on a trip to Louisiana. I found myself revolting. Against a certain unseen ill.

The new deal and new stories.

The new stories that spawned from MK MZODERN were better than ever before. With new life and energy.And telling of a new story in my life that was seemingly getting better but I was wrong. I was too misguided in what I wanted to do. I thought I had all the tools by completing Forge one, but creating comics is not that simple.

In attempting to even create the online version, in the library using its scanner, I was met with certain scrutiny and was hit with the reality that everyone was not on my side, and that in this new environment, I had been avoiding this new possibility. Of a new danger, just because I had gone through so much to process such an aspect being possible.

And I was right to worry, so I started on the path to subsistence.

This occurs to be the point of change, where things became more optimistic to a real standard of succeeding at continuing this for not for profit, but for enjoyment and betterment in actually reaching an event and goal rather than for monetary continuation. I am sure, that at this point, I realized, that to even make money, there must be an ease and flexibility.

part 2